In this post, we’re going to look at chapter one’s revision. It’s much more extensive than the previous prologue. I can’t remember the number off the top of my head, but it’s safe to assume that anywhere from 500–1,000 words were cut, much of it over-the-top setting details or extensive lore dumping that didn’t help with the pacing.
If you have your own copy of the original book, crack it open and take a look at the changes. Like before, it’s about the trim, recycling the stuff that worked, trimming the fat, and adding.
Chapter 1: The Return
Judas Lakayre stepped back into his world, passing through the Mirror of Imaesion, a gateway between the two planets.
His robes still smoldered from his encounter, a fight for their lives; rips and tears peppered his ruined clothing.
I need to change.
But that didn’t matter now—surviving did.
His knee gave out and struck the stone floor. For once in his life, he wished the dungeon had the same lush, phthalo-blue carpet as the castle above.
Daylynn Reese, with her honey-colored hair and blue eyes, tumbled to the floor after him. She appeared even more disheveled.
She’s lucky I saved her.